II

or Why I'm Sick of Hearing About How Weed's Never Killed Anyone

Pretty self-explanatory, really. Whenever I'm sitting back, contemplating the fuzziness of my elbows, there's always some dick ready to talk about the great benefits of weed. This rant is aimed at that anyone who has tried to engage me and other people in this kind of conversation. First of all,

                TALKING

In most situations talking is classified as ok, and even when I can't be assed to utter words myself, listening to people talk shit is just the kind of airy activity that keeps my brain on the pleasant side of consciousness. However. If talk drifts away from the slow, spacey "dude, what if..." monologues to that earnest, cheese-grater tone, I'm gonna blog your ass back to 1995. So:

               EVER HEARD OF A GUY CALLED BOB MARLEY?

I don't want to get too controversial now, but something tells me there was more to his cancer than his love of jam. Know what I'm sayin'? At any rate, even without resorting to unproven celebrity examples, the idea that weed is actually good for you pisses me off.

Ok, think about this a second: how many people do you know who drink? And how many of them are debilitated in their day-to-day life by it? Now think about how many people you know who smoke weed. How many of them are permanently fucked? I guess it's because weed becomes some kind of cult for some idiots, like the above-mentioned perpetrator.

But hell, I'm not trying to make some great, structured argument here, my main point is this:

.

Cheap trick. But I digress. Most of us don't smoke because we think it's good for us. We know it's a stupid idea and part of the enjoyment is in doing something stupid. Hell, most of it is. And to have some poor deluded soul try and ruin it for me because he needs reassurance is as bad as someone running into a cinema and shouting spoilers at me. Doing stupid stuff is fine, as long as you know it's dumb and you don't pretend it's actually a great idea and decide to dedicate your life to it.

I actually don't care if I'm right or not. Maybe weed doesn't harm anywhere near as much as alcohol and tobacco (I doubt it, but I might be wrong). That's not really the point. It's the person that chooses to share this shit with me that I despise. The kind that think doctors are out to get you and that everything bad in your life is due to some kind of generic "bad energy". Mitchell and Webb are more eloquent and to the point than me: Homeopathy A&E .

So smoke up, shut up, and leave me in my warm, fuzzy peace.